Dear God,

I’ve been reading your book, (and I must say, it’s a real page-turner!). But I just got to the part where Jesus preaches the Sermon on the Mount, and there’s something that’s troubling me: If anyone who gets angry is in danger of judgment, of being tossed into hell – or something like it, then who’s gonna be left? Not me. Not most people I know. If the scriptures we have inherited are to be believed, even Jesus blew his stack on occasion. For good reason, yes! But this bit from his Sermon on the Mount doesn’t appear to distinguish between justifiable anger and the other kind. (And really: Don’t we always feel justified? Isn’t that the point? That someone, or someones, or some system has betrayed us, failed to do what is right and good, as far as we’re concerned? Anger germinates in the gap between what we expect or want or need and what actually happens…)

Jesus raged at the folks who had turned Your temple from a house of prayer into a marketplace – he called it a ‘den of robbers,’ remember? He stormed in there, cracked a whip, tipped over tables – threw quite the temper tantrum. Did he forget what he’d said back on the Mount? (Feel free not to point out that I don’t always live up to my sermons, either…)

Maybe Jesus gets a pass? Or maybe he wasn’t really angry; he was just putting on a good show to get our attention…

But, there’s also the fact, if I may be so bold (and please don’t smite me): but it does seem that you’ve gotten angry once or twice yourself, God. Remember those towns of Sodom and Gomorrah, where the people abused the strangers in their midst, rather than welcoming them? You were so mad, you incinerated the entire valley. And then there were your people, the Israelites, the ones you freed from slavery. They tried your patience more than once, didn’t they? Moses had to keep intervening for them when you were ready to give up the whole show.

And really, I’m not trying to corner you, God. It’s actually a bit reassuring to me that you might lose your temper; that you get impatient, or discouraged, or dismayed at the way we behave. Really, who wouldn’t? We’ve muddled things pretty badly; we hurt each other and your planet way too often; we put ourselves before our neighbors – dismiss or disregard them. We let greed and pride govern our actions. We get angry, and we lash out – whether that means punching a friend or laying on the horn at the intersection, or yelling at the ref, or beating someone we’re supposed to love or dropping bombs on our so-called enemies. Uffff.

No wonder Jesus had something to say about anger. There’s a lot of it around, isn’t there? Like a toxin, it contaminates our lives and relationships, distorts our vision, and corrodes our ability to feel gratitude or joy. At our Bible Study this week, someone described resentment as putting poison in your adversary’s cup, then drinking it yourself. (By the way, God: you’ve got a great bunch of Bible Study students here. We laugh a lot when we’re together, and they ask great, probing, faith-full questions; but you probably know that already…). Anyway: anger, our own, it eats us from the inside out. And other people’s anger? Well, that eats us from the outside in. When someone flips me off while I’m driving, I can feel myself shrink like a salted slug. I cringe, my heart rate goes up, and I spend the rest of my trip wondering whether I deserved it. (How often do we take out our rage on innocent bystanders? Anger has a way of spilling out in unexpected ways and places, doesn’t it, God?). I can only imagine what it must be like to be the child or the spouse or the worker who gets yelled at every day.

Which brings me back to Jesus’ sermon – and not getting angry. If I understand correctly, Jesus was trying to paint a picture of your Holy Reign, your Beloved Community. “This is what it looks like to live in God’s kingdom. In God’s kingdom, we love without judgment. In God’s kingdom, we respect one another, we tell the truth, and we keep our promises.” … And it’s a beautiful picture, but, God: It’s easier said than done!

Sometimes, it feels like anger controls me, and not the other way around. Sometimes, I think I’d rather be angry than be wrong. And sometimes, my anger feels a bit like a shield; it protects me from having to admit that I’m hurt or afraid. So I guess I could use a little help here; we all could. Jesus said, “Go and make things right with your brother or sister.” Tell me, God, where do we start?

Thanks, and Happy Valentine’s Day.

Love, Devoted but Dubious