Saugatuck Congregational Church, UCC
©Rev. Alison J. Buttrick Patton
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Scripture: Luke 10:38-42
Stay inside or go to the beach? Call your mother or read a book? Say yes, or say no? Our days are full of choices, most of them mundane, some of them life-defining. The challenge is knowing which is which. Me, I tend to assume that every choice may be critical, that there is always one right and (by extension) one wrong choice, and heaven-forbid I choose wrong… This is true whether I’m discerning a professional direction or picking out a dress for my next beach party. Should I get the blue or the green? “They both look great,” says my husband (for which I thank him!). But still I hem and haw.
It’s silly, and here’s what I’ve learned about myself over time: worrying over my choices, too often keeps me from making any decision at all. Instead, I get stuck in place, spinning my wheels.
Maybe you know the feeling? Of not knowing what to choose? Keep working or take a break? Wash the dishes or join the conversation?
Mary and Martha are sisters, friends of Jesus, two women who open their home to him and some untold number of his followers one afternoon when they pass through town. The sisters may have been traveling as part of the group, or they may have been waiting to welcome Jesus when he arrived on their doorstep. Either way, it is clear that these two women were close to Jesus. Martha calls him Lord. Mary sits at his feet. And when conflict emerges, Martha appeals to Jesus to arbitrate between them.
So our first impulse may be to read this episode as a stand-off between Mary and Martha, between the one who labors and the one who listens. So we turn this scene into a kind of allegory, where each woman represents a different way of moving through the world: service or contemplation. We choose up sides (or lean in to see what side Jesus will take). Is it better to serve? Or better to sit? Some of us choose the ‘Martha’ jersey and some the “Mary (jersey)…” And the Martha’s among us? We bristle as we watch the match play out:
“Why doesn’t Jesus pick up a dish cloth, hmm? Would it kill him to dry a few glasses? How dare he suggest that Mary is doing something noble, something better, when none of them would have eaten if it wasn’t for Martha?” And it’s a fair point.
But here’s the thing: I don’t think we need to pit Mary against Martha. Both of them are remarkable, faithful women. And both of them are highly regarded by Jesus. How do I know? Go back to the beginning of chapter 10 and re-read the verses that precede this scene. In the days leading up to this dinner party in Bethany, Jesus talks again and again about what? Welcoming and being welcomed. “Stay with the person who welcomes you. Learn to welcome the stranger. Your neighbor is the one who looks after you, not the one who crosses by on the other side…”
It seems highly UNlikely that Jesus would say that Mary’s choice to hang out in the living room is better than Martha’s choice to prepare the meal. Because as far as Jesus is concerned, there is no more faithful role than that of host. Those who open their doors, extend hospitality, welcome strangers… these are the people that Jesus lifts up again and again.
And what about Mary? The text says that she ‘sat at Jesus’ feet.’ It turns out, that’s a very specific phrase used to describe students in Jewish tradition – a student sits at the feet of his rabbi. At the time, those students would all have been men and boys. Women were not permitted to study with a rabbi. And yet, there’s Mary, taking up a place, right along side the other disciples, defying cultural norms in order to follow Jesus. And Jesus does not turn her away. On the contrary, he tells Martha that Mary has chosen well.
One other note about Martha: The house where they gather is described as Martha’s home, and she is introduced by her own name – not as anyone’s wife. As rare as this is in the gospels, and contrary to ancient near eastern norms, it seems that Martha is the head of her household.
Read these verses closely, and the picture that starts to emerge is of two women who are both faithful, both well regarded by Jesus and both defying expectations, each in her own way.
Maybe you know what it feels like to live according to other people’s expectations, or according to your own self-imposed rules or limits. To feel trapped in a role assigned by someone else… Do you also know what it’s like to break free? To be the person you feel called to be or to pursue a purpose with singular passion? Do you know what it’s like to break the mold?
That’s what Mary was doing, when she sat at Jesus’ feet and what Martha had been doing… until she was overcome by worry.
And there’s the rub. No: this episode isn’t about choosing between Martha and Mary; it’s about choosing between too many things, and the one good thing.
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things…” Jesus said. And I can’t help but wonder what it was that tormented her. Was she worried about what others would think of her sister? Or of her? Distracted by the voices in her own head, the ones that insisted that she had to get it right? Was she worried about being disregarded or ridiculed or judged? Whatever the case, it seems Martha’s anxiousness kept her from doing anything well – either hosting or sitting.
Could she have left the dishes and gone to join the listening disciples? Absolutely. Could she have continued in her role as host? Yes. The point wasn’t that one of those choices was better than the other. The point was that Martha couldn’t do either well, as long as she was distracted by too many anxious thoughts. Pulled in multiple directions, she just kept spinning her wheels.
“Where is your heart?” asks biblical scholar Beth Laneel Tanner. If you feel called to lead a household, then do so. If you are called to study at the rabbi’s feet, then do that. Live out your purpose, give it your full and undivided attention, and don’t let worry get in your way.
Which is, let’s be honest, way easier to say then to do.
Sometimes we really are torn between something we want to do and something we need to do (or think we need to do); pulled between competing obligations, or between the life in which we feel trapped and the one to which we aspire. It’s one thing to say: find your one thing. It’s another to pursue it, especially when it means breaking the cultural mold.
- Because what if your one thing is living a life free of addiction in a culture that encourages us to self-medicate…
- or living unencumbered by debt in a culture that rewards consumption?
- What if claiming your one thing means walking away from a steady job to pursue a whole new vocation?
- Or publicly claiming your true gender identity in the face of still-rigid stereotypes about women and men?
Then you will surely have set-backs, days when that one thing feels way out of reach. Days when people and circumstances seem to conspire against you. And days when you and your worries will invariably get in your own way. At least I know I have days like that.
So what if we think of that one thing, not just in terms of a particular goal or role, but as the thread that runs through everything we do – like the warp on a loom, through which all the other threads are woven. And what if that thread is what connects us to God – to holy hope, joy, love – no matter what we do? What if pursuing one thing means figuring out how to tap into that hope, joy, love; how to say “yes!” to God every time we make a choice, and so to trust that God will be present with us however events unfold? Perhaps then, we could learn to shed our worry, abandon distractions, break the mold, live whole-hearted lives… and so be set free.
This is my prayer – for me, for you, for us. May it be so. Amen.